A Celebration That Never Came

I'll be frank...I created this entry on  9/9/16 ,
which was exactly one month ago from today.
But after I wrote the title ,I've left it as a draft until today..

Just as the title implies ,
I was going to write about a celebration that could've happened ,
if things didn't ended up the way it did..
But I just couldn't find the right mood to finish the post...

For past few weeks ,things were calm...
I was hanging out with my friends ,
fetching & driving them around (finally I can drive) ,
managed to finished a game (wow...it's a rarity these days),
made some progress at college (so far so good,humbly speaking)

I was feeding the black cat too...
I thought I'd never go back there ever again...
but I did went back...twice in fact...after that Night..
back to the exact same spot...just to feed the black cat...
that's what I kept telling myself...
"Just  there to feed the poor cat"

I was probably craving for the affections shown by the cat..
the cat probably did the same for every passerby...for food
but still I enjoy it...I enjoy petting it ,
just as much as it enjoys my food
It's a mutual connection with each other....

Or maybe somewhere deep within me,
I was craving for something else altogether...
the cat was just a reminder of the better days(or nights?)

I'm not sure what I'm writing this for anymore,
I'm unsure of my feelings right now...