May 4th , known as Star Wars Day to the SW fans , it's a grand day for celebration .
But as my 30th birthday , not much celebration is going on .
It's definitely a 'memorable' birthday ,but in a kinda bad way as the world has gone into a dire situation with the Covid-19 virus outbreak & lockdowns , so no gatherings or celebrations can be done.
On a second thought , perhaps I should view this lockdown in a positive light as it at least give me an valid excuse of not being able to celebrate my birthday .
Truth be told , nothing makes me happy anymore these days...
I don't feel happy on my birthday ,& I don't feel happy on any day in 2020 so far ...
Oh if you are wondering , my birthday wish is still the same as last year ,
though I'm beginning to think having an unfulfillable birthday wish is perhaps a way of punishing myself .
At least James can choose to be with Maria , but such option is not possible out here in the real world for me...
Let's see if the rest of 2020 will be able to surprise me ..
Monday, May 4, 2020
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Recap 2019 : A Rerun of Past Year
A rerun ,but with a heavier loss than 2018 .
That's basically sums up the year 2019 ,
no happening ,
no excitements ,
no growth ,
no progression ...
& it's gone , it's over .
It's true I started the year without much expectations ,
given how 2018 ended ,
but for the 1st few months of the year I was somewhat hopeful ,
& was naively believe I was making some sort of progressions ,
fantasizing about regaining ,reconnecting some old bond.
All that came to an end when I fall into a trap and lost much of my progressions over the years .
A huge slap back to reality .
The truth was even before I fall into said trap ,
she cut off the remaining ties that I was so desperately trying to reconnect .
The trap simply just dealt the finishing blow onto me.
Then for the rest of the year ,I stopped being hopeful .
I stopped to care for anything or anyone .
I'm still not caring nor hopeful even as I'm writing this ,
& I believe 2020 will be more or less the same moving forward.
We shall see....
That's basically sums up the year 2019 ,
no happening ,
no excitements ,
no growth ,
no progression ...
& it's gone , it's over .
It's true I started the year without much expectations ,
given how 2018 ended ,
but for the 1st few months of the year I was somewhat hopeful ,
& was naively believe I was making some sort of progressions ,
fantasizing about regaining ,reconnecting some old bond.
All that came to an end when I fall into a trap and lost much of my progressions over the years .
A huge slap back to reality .
The truth was even before I fall into said trap ,
she cut off the remaining ties that I was so desperately trying to reconnect .
The trap simply just dealt the finishing blow onto me.
Then for the rest of the year ,I stopped being hopeful .
I stopped to care for anything or anyone .
I'm still not caring nor hopeful even as I'm writing this ,
& I believe 2020 will be more or less the same moving forward.
We shall see....
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