Well,I could've posted this since last week,but I just couldn't find the right words & the right mood to ever finish writing it...
To be honest,there ain't exactly any new crisis happening ,the crisis is there all the time,just that I've been ignorant about it.....
I always thought that I could handle each & every challenges as I predicted before hand,
but then again,when the problem really happens,I still felt so helpless at times......
Mind versus Heart,eh?
There was once a friend of mine said that I'm such a flimsy person...
Indeed I am.....& I'm also kinda low esteem,lack courages & confidence in every way....
Well,the major problem of myself is,
I'm such an ignorant person.....
I knew my own weaknesses very well than anyone else do,
& yet all I did is complaining about how unfair is my own life,
while didn't even put any efforts at all to ever trying to change & improving my own self...
& some of my friends are already starting to tired of my sad stories....
Every time it was like,I knew it was coming,but I just couldn't find a way to prevent it,
then at the end,it really ended badly as I've predicted....
So what?As if I won't get the blames after I say such things to the other.....
Even if I really didn't get any blames at all from the others,I'd still be blaming myself for all those mistakes...
I really couldn't act like everything will be just fine & proceed calmly as everyone else does....
They say I'm worrying too much,but than again,ain't all those great leaders always predicts the worse before ever start doing anything?
They call that forecast,& by doing that,they can at least make some preparations to prevent anything that shouldn't be happening from truly happening......
...New crisis,eh?
There are more to come in front of me ,I wonders if I could really handle them all?
Only time will tell.......
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Road to A Better Life?
Finally,some changes in my life...
I've finally found a job for myself,ever since I've started this blog,
I've been dying for a job to keep me occupied & earn some cash at the same time;p
But lady luck weren't at my side until now,as I've been applied quite a few numbers of jobs already since then,but none have any response....
Thanks to her,now I'm able to work as a part time promoter,though the paid is not as high as I'd hoped for,but I shouldn't really be complaining much actually,as it's quite a good job for me...
Well,the job itself isn't that difficult to handle,as I've quite some experience from my past employment as part time promoter...
The working environment?Quite good actually,the food here are cheap enough,
& my house is just a few minutes trip from here,so I can even ride back home to have my meals during break time...
As for the people around here...hmm,though today is just the 2nd day I've worked here,
but there are already some people that I found kinda annoyed & made me frustrated...
Well,there's a guy,who happens to be my co-worker,I don't quite like him...
I thought I could give myself a chance to meet up with some new friends,
but he's sure not the type of person I'd choose to have as a friend....
Luckily the other co-worker,who happens to be a friend of her,is quite a pretty young lady as well,& sweet;p
Though her 1st impression to me was she doesn't look too friendly,but once she start talking,
I have 2nd thoughts about her already;p
& then there's another guy,who works at another brand just beside me one,he's quite nice,compared to my co-worker.....
Hmm,I'm looking forward to know more about both of my new friends here...
(Well,not including the guy that I dislike;p)
But one thing bothers me,my working shift....
Besides weekends when I'll be working full shift & have the time to interact with her,
while on weekdays,since that guy is still studying form 5,
so he'll only be able come to work on evening shift,
which means,unless I work on full shift,or else I won't be able to meet her at all & force to stuck with that form 5 guy the rest of the time,as she'll most probably works on noon shift & will leave at 7,which is the time I start working......
So it's either me left already ,then she only come,or vise versa....
So unfair if like this.....as she's actually my motivation to keep on working;p
As for the girl next door who recommend me this job at the 1st place,
well,she works at the opposite counter where I'm placed,
so I rarely get the chance to interact with her as well...
But then again,there are also plenty other more pretty young girls work here,
maybe I shouldn't really be focus on tiny thing,i got to try to look at the bigger 'picture';p
Oh well,hopefully at the time I finally leave this job,I'd have plenty of 'new hope',eh?
Hey,don't take me wrongly,as i'm just trying to make some new friends,though it'd be best if it's from the opposite gender;p
I've finally found a job for myself,ever since I've started this blog,
I've been dying for a job to keep me occupied & earn some cash at the same time;p
But lady luck weren't at my side until now,as I've been applied quite a few numbers of jobs already since then,but none have any response....
Thanks to her,now I'm able to work as a part time promoter,though the paid is not as high as I'd hoped for,but I shouldn't really be complaining much actually,as it's quite a good job for me...
Well,the job itself isn't that difficult to handle,as I've quite some experience from my past employment as part time promoter...
The working environment?Quite good actually,the food here are cheap enough,
& my house is just a few minutes trip from here,so I can even ride back home to have my meals during break time...
As for the people around here...hmm,though today is just the 2nd day I've worked here,
but there are already some people that I found kinda annoyed & made me frustrated...
Well,there's a guy,who happens to be my co-worker,I don't quite like him...
I thought I could give myself a chance to meet up with some new friends,
but he's sure not the type of person I'd choose to have as a friend....
Luckily the other co-worker,who happens to be a friend of her,is quite a pretty young lady as well,& sweet;p
Though her 1st impression to me was she doesn't look too friendly,but once she start talking,
I have 2nd thoughts about her already;p
& then there's another guy,who works at another brand just beside me one,he's quite nice,compared to my co-worker.....
Hmm,I'm looking forward to know more about both of my new friends here...
(Well,not including the guy that I dislike;p)
But one thing bothers me,my working shift....
Besides weekends when I'll be working full shift & have the time to interact with her,
while on weekdays,since that guy is still studying form 5,
so he'll only be able come to work on evening shift,
which means,unless I work on full shift,or else I won't be able to meet her at all & force to stuck with that form 5 guy the rest of the time,as she'll most probably works on noon shift & will leave at 7,which is the time I start working......
So it's either me left already ,then she only come,or vise versa....
So unfair if like this.....as she's actually my motivation to keep on working;p
As for the girl next door who recommend me this job at the 1st place,
well,she works at the opposite counter where I'm placed,
so I rarely get the chance to interact with her as well...
But then again,there are also plenty other more pretty young girls work here,
maybe I shouldn't really be focus on tiny thing,i got to try to look at the bigger 'picture';p
Oh well,hopefully at the time I finally leave this job,I'd have plenty of 'new hope',eh?
Hey,don't take me wrongly,as i'm just trying to make some new friends,though it'd be best if it's from the opposite gender;p
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
An Interesting Live Show
They said life's just like a stage play,or rather,a live drama;p
The past 3 months of my life can really considered the most interesting moments of my life up until now,I've witnessed the climax of this particular chapter of the play & having quite some difficult time accepting it.....
I thought such plot lines would only appear in novels & movies,& will never ever happen
in my life....but i guess i was wrong,i was too naive to think so.....
Simply put,my ex left me last time & begin an affair with my best friend,who happens to had a girl friend at that very moment,& I knew it all the time,but choose not to interupt or try to stop it from happening,as I thought that it is already none of my business.....
I protected my best friend,I hid the truth away from his girl friend,& believe that he'd quit from keep on fooling around with my ex & finally get back to his girl friend...
I have faith in him,that I told myself he's just hanging around with my ex,& the blame souldn't be on him,it should be on my ex,who tempted him at the 1st place,should anything really serious happens later......
But I guess I was wrong again....
He & his girl friend finally break....well,not because she found out about the affair,but their feelings towards each other were actually fading lately,due to the fact that they both rarely meet each other anymore lately....
But my best friend then decided to tell her the truth when they break...
the result?well,as expected,his girl friend completely went crazy,
I felt bad for his girl friend as me too,also done something bad to her as I decided not to tell her the truth from the very begining.....
Then again,despite such scenario happened,I still believe in him....
But what really dissapointed me is the fact that he really having an affair with my ex ,not just fooling around only....
& he even accused me of being too close with his girl friend & caused him to start an affair with my ex....
How can he treat me like this?despite everything that I've done for him....
so many years of friendship....I'm really dissapointing on him...
What a live show I've just witnessed....
The past 3 months of my life can really considered the most interesting moments of my life up until now,I've witnessed the climax of this particular chapter of the play & having quite some difficult time accepting it.....
I thought such plot lines would only appear in novels & movies,& will never ever happen
in my life....but i guess i was wrong,i was too naive to think so.....
Simply put,my ex left me last time & begin an affair with my best friend,who happens to had a girl friend at that very moment,& I knew it all the time,but choose not to interupt or try to stop it from happening,as I thought that it is already none of my business.....
I protected my best friend,I hid the truth away from his girl friend,& believe that he'd quit from keep on fooling around with my ex & finally get back to his girl friend...
I have faith in him,that I told myself he's just hanging around with my ex,& the blame souldn't be on him,it should be on my ex,who tempted him at the 1st place,should anything really serious happens later......
But I guess I was wrong again....
He & his girl friend finally break....well,not because she found out about the affair,but their feelings towards each other were actually fading lately,due to the fact that they both rarely meet each other anymore lately....
But my best friend then decided to tell her the truth when they break...
the result?well,as expected,his girl friend completely went crazy,
I felt bad for his girl friend as me too,also done something bad to her as I decided not to tell her the truth from the very begining.....
Then again,despite such scenario happened,I still believe in him....
But what really dissapointed me is the fact that he really having an affair with my ex ,not just fooling around only....
& he even accused me of being too close with his girl friend & caused him to start an affair with my ex....
How can he treat me like this?despite everything that I've done for him....
so many years of friendship....I'm really dissapointing on him...
What a live show I've just witnessed....
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
New Year,New Begining.
The year of 2008 has arrived ,07' is the past by now....
Oh well,time to move on i guess,but i wonders what will be waiting for me in this year of the Rat?
I'm no fortune tellers and also don't plan to seek one to find out about my own future,
as I believe I'm the one who will be creating my own future,controlling my own life & fate myself,not by anyone else or anything else.....
though there are sure some variables affecting our life all the time,
but that isn't going to stop me from achieving whatever goal I had in my mind,
just another detour,that's all......
Detour,huh?........
Maybe i shouldn't be thinking so much.......
Just let it be natural i guess......
& in the mean while,work,work,& work;p
That should be my 1st priority for now....
Arh,so excited,I bet this year is sure more interesting than last year;p
Oh well,time to move on i guess,but i wonders what will be waiting for me in this year of the Rat?
I'm no fortune tellers and also don't plan to seek one to find out about my own future,
as I believe I'm the one who will be creating my own future,controlling my own life & fate myself,not by anyone else or anything else.....
though there are sure some variables affecting our life all the time,
but that isn't going to stop me from achieving whatever goal I had in my mind,
just another detour,that's all......
Detour,huh?........
Maybe i shouldn't be thinking so much.......
Just let it be natural i guess......
& in the mean while,work,work,& work;p
That should be my 1st priority for now....
Arh,so excited,I bet this year is sure more interesting than last year;p
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)