A New Crisis?!

Well,I could've posted this since last week,but I just couldn't find the right words & the right mood to ever finish writing it...
To be honest,there ain't exactly any new crisis happening ,the crisis is there all the time,just that I've been ignorant about it.....
I always thought that I could handle each & every challenges as I predicted before hand,
but then again,when the problem really happens,I still felt so helpless at times......
Mind versus Heart,eh?
There was once a friend of mine said that I'm such a flimsy person...
Indeed I am.....& I'm also kinda low esteem,lack courages & confidence in every way....
Well,the major problem of myself is,
I'm such an ignorant person.....
I knew my own weaknesses very well than anyone else do,
& yet all I did is complaining about how unfair is my own life,
while didn't even put any efforts at all to ever trying to change & improving my own self...
& some of my friends are already starting to tired of my sad stories....
Every time it was like,I knew it was coming,but I just couldn't find a way to prevent it,
then at the end,it really ended badly as I've predicted....
So what?As if I won't get the blames after I say such things to the other.....
Even if I really didn't get any blames at all from the others,I'd still be blaming myself for all those mistakes...
I really couldn't act like everything will be just fine & proceed calmly as everyone else does....
They say I'm worrying too much,but than again,ain't all those great leaders always predicts the worse before ever start doing anything?
They call that forecast,& by doing that,they can at least make some preparations to prevent anything that shouldn't be happening from truly happening......
...New crisis,eh?
There are more to come in front of me ,I wonders if I could really handle them all?
Only time will tell.......