I noticed I've again skipped a long period of my life before finally come to this post
(My last post being written in October , and it was about my life in September by the way...)
I'd really love to summarize all those interesting happenings during these past 3 months , or the whole 2nd sem I've been through over here ...
but if I do that ,I'm not sure whether or not I could finish this post right on time ,
before 2009 actually ends ...
Perhaps I'll do another recaps some other time to recall back and record down all those past flashbacks...
...provided that if I still have the mood and good memory to make it happens by then.....
Anyway,for now ,I wish to write down my current emotions and thoughts and how I feel right now ,seeing the end of year 2009 is approaching...
I spent my X'mas in penang ,had lots of fun with my good o' friends during the weekends , & I'm really glad I went back home....
But I've to admit...I've made a choice that will cost me quite some serious consequences...
I've yet to feel the burn , but I realize it won't take long until I experience the damage which I'll then feel regret about it...
I won't be asking myself about : "Am I making the right decision?" or something like that...the fact was ,the choice is made and I can't do anything to change it right now..& I'm pretty sure that the choice which I've made will definitely do me more harm than good...
sooner or later...
I guess somethings just won't change ,eh?
Especially the bad ones , it'll just repeats itself again and again...
Even the so called 'smooth sailing moments' won't last that long..at least in my case...
& I know full well about why is that so...because there's something inside me that haven't changed for good...& it's only a matter of time before it finally ruin my entire life....for good...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Recap : September...
September~~
Here goes the interesting part..hehe...lots have happened during this month.. :)
I'll start it off by the exam part...err...not so interesting about all these exam things though...
it's your typical final exams ,so there's nothing much about it...really..
except the fact that during that exam period,I had some great time playing balls with my housemates few days in a row...for the 1st time of 3 month I've came down here...it was fun indeed.
Then it was the time I had been waiting for...
2 weeks off since the beginning of September,when the whole exam finally ended,
it was 15th of Sep , & I was on my way to a budget airplane , flying towards Singapore ,
where the Game Convention Asia 09 was held ...
erm..kinda lazy to write much about it....though I really had a wonderful time over there,it was a nice trip...if anyone of you ever wonders about the details...just refer to my Facebook albums & see for yourself then... :p
(I figured any sane man who read this post will curse me for my laziness of not writing the details down..well,whatever:)
Alright...perhaps I should at least summarize what I've been doing down there...
The main reason I'd ever went there ,was because of the GCA . First heard of this convention from my lecturer, Mr. Khoo months ago, and since then I've planned my trip down to Singapore just to attend it. It's basically a game show , similar to a typical pc/technology fair you'd come across in our country ,but the main merchandise they are selling and displaying are none other than games or any other accessory related to game .Even in KL pc fair , the most you could find are those booth that are promoting various online games ( it's not that there's anything wrong with that , though I personally don't play any online games at all ,but the point is ,Malaysia's gaming market are heavily focus on online games, as I've been discussed in my previous post ,so you won't be able to see any large scale games exhibitions promoting console games around here)
That's why I was so eager about this trip , because I was about to attend my very 1st game show in my life :p
Though the scale of this GCA was not as big compared to the well-known E3 or TGS (obviously....),but at least it was an event that you'd never see in Malaysia any time soon (or never will be....)
There were pretty show girls everywhere , numerous game consoles with some of the latest games for free testing ,some pc games contest ,then there were also lots of cosplayers suddenly gathered there in huge crowd on the 3rd day of the event
( I guess it was probably weekends ,that's why those singaporean youngsters were so free enough to come out and show off their fancy costumes , but I've to admit ,their passionate about cosplay were indeed greater than our local ones ,at least from the looks of their costumes ,just go and view my facebook albums and you shall understand what I was trying to say:)
Besides sight-seeing over there , I was there to attend the free talks during the GCA too. And I really benefited a whole lot from those talks as they really exposed me with some worthy facts regarding the gaming industry .The gaming industry in Singapore is indeed getting much more attention and supports from its government and it's much more 'mature' than ours.That's because piracy remains a huge issue in our country that'd directly affects the growing of gaming industry over here , so I actually thought of starting my career in Singapore if possible ,as it would seems to be a brighter future for me in this path that I've chosen as compared to staying here.But even so , this is definitely not going to be an easy path for me should I really choose to walk it....or rather should I say, to eventually fulfill my dream along this path which I've already setting my foots on it , this is merely yet another challenge which I must overcome in order to proceed....
Here goes the interesting part..hehe...lots have happened during this month.. :)
I'll start it off by the exam part...err...not so interesting about all these exam things though...
it's your typical final exams ,so there's nothing much about it...really..
except the fact that during that exam period,I had some great time playing balls with my housemates few days in a row...for the 1st time of 3 month I've came down here...it was fun indeed.
Then it was the time I had been waiting for...
2 weeks off since the beginning of September,when the whole exam finally ended,
it was 15th of Sep , & I was on my way to a budget airplane , flying towards Singapore ,
where the Game Convention Asia 09 was held ...
erm..kinda lazy to write much about it....though I really had a wonderful time over there,it was a nice trip...if anyone of you ever wonders about the details...just refer to my Facebook albums & see for yourself then... :p
(I figured any sane man who read this post will curse me for my laziness of not writing the details down..well,whatever:)
Alright...perhaps I should at least summarize what I've been doing down there...
The main reason I'd ever went there ,was because of the GCA . First heard of this convention from my lecturer, Mr. Khoo months ago, and since then I've planned my trip down to Singapore just to attend it. It's basically a game show , similar to a typical pc/technology fair you'd come across in our country ,but the main merchandise they are selling and displaying are none other than games or any other accessory related to game .Even in KL pc fair , the most you could find are those booth that are promoting various online games ( it's not that there's anything wrong with that , though I personally don't play any online games at all ,but the point is ,Malaysia's gaming market are heavily focus on online games, as I've been discussed in my previous post ,so you won't be able to see any large scale games exhibitions promoting console games around here)
That's why I was so eager about this trip , because I was about to attend my very 1st game show in my life :p
Though the scale of this GCA was not as big compared to the well-known E3 or TGS (obviously....),but at least it was an event that you'd never see in Malaysia any time soon (or never will be....)
There were pretty show girls everywhere , numerous game consoles with some of the latest games for free testing ,some pc games contest ,then there were also lots of cosplayers suddenly gathered there in huge crowd on the 3rd day of the event
( I guess it was probably weekends ,that's why those singaporean youngsters were so free enough to come out and show off their fancy costumes , but I've to admit ,their passionate about cosplay were indeed greater than our local ones ,at least from the looks of their costumes ,just go and view my facebook albums and you shall understand what I was trying to say:)
Besides sight-seeing over there , I was there to attend the free talks during the GCA too. And I really benefited a whole lot from those talks as they really exposed me with some worthy facts regarding the gaming industry .The gaming industry in Singapore is indeed getting much more attention and supports from its government and it's much more 'mature' than ours.That's because piracy remains a huge issue in our country that'd directly affects the growing of gaming industry over here , so I actually thought of starting my career in Singapore if possible ,as it would seems to be a brighter future for me in this path that I've chosen as compared to staying here.But even so , this is definitely not going to be an easy path for me should I really choose to walk it....or rather should I say, to eventually fulfill my dream along this path which I've already setting my foots on it , this is merely yet another challenge which I must overcome in order to proceed....
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Recap : August....
It's been a god damn while since I last written any post over here...
I've been through plenty of things...the fun one,the sad one....
( erm...actually there weren't much sad things that happened recently..so let's just focus on the fun one ,shall we?:)
I'll summarize some 'main events' that happened since my last post...
AUGUST~~
-The PC fair was huge in KL..'Gained' something during that day....a 'life-time experience' indeed...
-There were the assignments rushing near the end of last sem ,the last 2 weeks of August was pretty hectic..(last minute rush for all the assignments of course..hehe)
-Felt a sense of accomplishment for both the Games Tech's Game Review Assignment (of which I wrote about MGS3,my favorite game of all time ;p) & the Programming Assignment as I got quite a high score for them & I was glad I was finally able to write a run-able program as compared to last time (or last year...)
-The same feeling on my Programming Practical test as well, I was simply thrilled by it because I was able to actually finish the question ,which I wasn't able to do so the last time I had the test:)
-The book fair was huge in KL...(i guess everything is pretty huge over here,eh?)..Bought a few nice cheap books & met up with some good 'o popular colleague knew from penang:)
...That's about August I guess...
I've been through plenty of things...the fun one,the sad one....
( erm...actually there weren't much sad things that happened recently..so let's just focus on the fun one ,shall we?:)
I'll summarize some 'main events' that happened since my last post...
AUGUST~~
-The PC fair was huge in KL..'Gained' something during that day....a 'life-time experience' indeed...
-There were the assignments rushing near the end of last sem ,the last 2 weeks of August was pretty hectic..(last minute rush for all the assignments of course..hehe)
-Felt a sense of accomplishment for both the Games Tech's Game Review Assignment (of which I wrote about MGS3,my favorite game of all time ;p) & the Programming Assignment as I got quite a high score for them & I was glad I was finally able to write a run-able program as compared to last time (or last year...)
-The same feeling on my Programming Practical test as well, I was simply thrilled by it because I was able to actually finish the question ,which I wasn't able to do so the last time I had the test:)
-The book fair was huge in KL...(i guess everything is pretty huge over here,eh?)..Bought a few nice cheap books & met up with some good 'o popular colleague knew from penang:)
...That's about August I guess...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Personal Thoughts on Video Games Development
This is actually my written assignment report submitted for my Games Technology subject in my course just recently . I just feel like wanna post it up here , maybe I just wish to share my thoughts with anyone that are reading my post . So, enjoy;p
Personal Thoughts on the Games Development Talk
Indeed when it comes to games design , or how to truly develop a video game that would sell well , or even be able to attract other people’s interest to play it , I still have a lot things to learn until I am able to make my passion into my dream career in the future . I knew this path isn’t as simple as playing a game , well , I actually don’t think playing game is such an easy task from the beginning anyway , but what I really wanted to say is that to make a game and to play a game are two completely different matters .Yet , this is the path that I have chosen , and I intend to walk till the very end of it to fulfill my dreams .
I actually missed the talk which was held at the college on last Thursday (30/7/2009) , it was such a great loss to me personally ,however I did managed to learn the topics that were being mentioned over the talk , thanks to my fellow course mates , though it was all in a brief and summarize point . I noticed that some of the topics mentioned during this talk ,were quite similar to the ones I heard from the Casual Games & Mobile Games Workshop organized by MSC Malaysia at Nikko Hotel , a little while ago .Though the target audiences of these two talks were definitely different , one is aimed at the students that are still studying , and the later one was aimed at the already graduated young game developers out there , but I realized that topics mentioned such as the trend of video games in Malaysia ,as well as how is the current market over here and some others were pretty similar .After all ,it’s the same Malaysia that we are all living in ,how could it be any much differences ?
Here’s my understanding towards the video games industry in Malaysia so far ,based on the information I have gathered from both the workshop and the talk mentioned above ,as well as other personal observations I’ve made so far .First of all, I agreed about the fact that the Malaysia market are still pretty huge ,and has lots of potential that could generate billions of revenue for the country ,not only in video games ,but other IP related sectors as well .However ,it’s safe to say that the market in those sectors are still in a newborn state ,still pretty immature and lack experiences in our country ,as compared to other countries , say ,like our neighbor country , Singapore, which has gone way up ahead than us in these industries.
Secondly, the trend in South-east Asia, our country as well, is pretty different than the trend in America and Japan , two leading video games giants in this world . Over there , all those hardcore games as well as console games market have their own stand , and their developers were given much more budget to do bigger projects , not to mention all those leading big game companies are in there . On the contrary , Malaysia developers are more into the casual games ,mobile games and online games developing ,as these type of game would sell much better over here , and it’s the very reason why the local investor would willing and interested to invest for . Indeed , the PC games market are much more bigger than the console market in Malaysia , as more people are having a PC in their home rather than a console , the same goes to mobile phone , as almost everyone in the cities have at least one mobile phone on their hands , so it’s not hard for those game publishers to figure out which trend to follow , so that they could gain maximum benefits out of these .
So that is the trend in Malaysia , I hate to admit it , mainly because as a hardcore console gamers myself ,I rarely touch any of these PC based games , whether offline or online , as well as all those casual games and mobile games , and thus I never think of wanted to develop any of these games on these platforms should I become a game designer in the future . But I’m afraid my naïve way of thinking should come to an end soon , as this is the reality and current situations of the Malaysia game market . Should I wanted to start a career over here ,I’ve no choice but to follow these trend , Otherwise , I would just have to go to overseas ,to the country where I always wanted to go, Japan , the country where video games has been revolutionize ever since , and fulfill my dream to make a video game masterpiece , just like what Mr. Hideo Kojima, the creator of the epic Metal Gear series has done . But that’s probably just a fool’s dream , even if the current trend in this country doesn’t suit to my interest , but the path to Japan is simply almost impossible to be reached . I really wonder what kind of game designer I would be become in the future ,or rather should I asked myself ,would I even be able to graduated and be a game designer at all? Only time will tell I guess .
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Papa's Day
Hurray to the one & only special day existed solely for
the Man who has been sacrificed so much for us,
the Man who has given out all his love for us ,
the Man who would do anything to protect us....
& also the Man who happens to be our very own Father;p
I'm sure each & everyone of you know what's really about Father's day...
but how many people out there that were actually doing something about this special day to their beloved daddy,or for the very least ,still remember this special day at all?
I'm not sure about the figures ,it's never the main point anyway...
What I really wanna tell you about is....
we should be appreciating each & every precious moments we have with our loved ones,
while we still have the chance...
I myself may not being a good example or better than any of you guys out there...
there are so much I could've done but what I really did was just some simple wishing...
Happy Father's Day,you are the greatest dad I could ever asked for!!
...(via sms by the way...hehe)
the Man who has been sacrificed so much for us,
the Man who has given out all his love for us ,
the Man who would do anything to protect us....
& also the Man who happens to be our very own Father;p
I'm sure each & everyone of you know what's really about Father's day...
but how many people out there that were actually doing something about this special day to their beloved daddy,or for the very least ,still remember this special day at all?
I'm not sure about the figures ,it's never the main point anyway...
What I really wanna tell you about is....
we should be appreciating each & every precious moments we have with our loved ones,
while we still have the chance...
I myself may not being a good example or better than any of you guys out there...
there are so much I could've done but what I really did was just some simple wishing...
Happy Father's Day,you are the greatest dad I could ever asked for!!
...(via sms by the way...hehe)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
2nd Life
Well,well...it's been almost 3 weeks since I moved down to KL..
& I didn't really start writing any post regarding my new life over here...
So I guess I've to start writing about it right now...
I moved down here 3 days before the college's mass call..
which is on 16th of May,Friday...
My dad fetched me down here,& straight to the rental house which I'll be staying...
as there were lots of things that I need to moved down here with me..
Well,I didn't really said this to anyone or to him directly...but I guess I'll say it now,right here..
that ar...I love you,dad;p
Upon arriving to my 'new home' over here,I was greet warmly by the housemates...
They helped me carried my luggage & other things upstairs, to my room...
then,my dad left,& finally,from that very second onwards..
I'm truly free,for the 1st time,far away from my home & will start my new life in KL;p
Then,before I even got the chance to arrange my stuffs in my new room,the other housemates
approached me & we started chatting & get to know each other...until 3am in the morning...
well,that's something that I didn't really expected...
but oh well,at least I know I have some really nice,friendly housemates living together with me;p
Ok..back to the mass call stuff that I've mentioned earlier...
since I already being through the so called 'Orientation for 1st-timer to college life' last year,
so after I attended for the 1st day,I skipped the rest of the orientation programs..
except one...one program which was also designed for the freshies...
I participated in that one,which was actually called KL tour...
There were 3 packages to select from,& I chose the one which I found quite interesting,
as the places to visit were someplace that I didn't go to before...
the places we visited during the tour were,some look-out-points,the waterfall,the hot springs(which actually was just some small public bathing areas with hot springs pool for you to bath or soak your legs,or any other parts of your body),
then finally,the KL tower(finally got the chance to go up there;p)
The tour was fun,& I've yet again get to know some new friends,
& was about to fall for a girl among them
(well,actually till I'd still love to meet her again & get to know her better;p)
Then one week was passed & thus began my 1st classes in TARc over here...
the lectures & tutorials are abit different than Penang ones,
but all I could say that such differences are actually good ones...
& for the co-curiculum part,I joined the Kung Fu Recreation Club..
& upon attending their 1st training,I could already tell that,indeed,the standards here are much more better than penang's...
& I'm truly looking forward to how much I'm able to learn over here..hehe;p
& of course,the girls over here are pretty as well...
not only within the club,in fact,the whole college are filled with hot chicks everywhere;p
Well,enough about the hot chicks,
I'm here to study anyway...
hehe...
But of course,I won't be wasting away my youth once again in here...
I'll definitely working hard be a better man in & hope that I can finally get what I truly want in this 2nd life over here...
& I didn't really start writing any post regarding my new life over here...
So I guess I've to start writing about it right now...
I moved down here 3 days before the college's mass call..
which is on 16th of May,Friday...
My dad fetched me down here,& straight to the rental house which I'll be staying...
as there were lots of things that I need to moved down here with me..
Well,I didn't really said this to anyone or to him directly...but I guess I'll say it now,right here..
that ar...I love you,dad;p
Upon arriving to my 'new home' over here,I was greet warmly by the housemates...
They helped me carried my luggage & other things upstairs, to my room...
then,my dad left,& finally,from that very second onwards..
I'm truly free,for the 1st time,far away from my home & will start my new life in KL;p
Then,before I even got the chance to arrange my stuffs in my new room,the other housemates
approached me & we started chatting & get to know each other...until 3am in the morning...
well,that's something that I didn't really expected...
but oh well,at least I know I have some really nice,friendly housemates living together with me;p
Ok..back to the mass call stuff that I've mentioned earlier...
since I already being through the so called 'Orientation for 1st-timer to college life' last year,
so after I attended for the 1st day,I skipped the rest of the orientation programs..
except one...one program which was also designed for the freshies...
I participated in that one,which was actually called KL tour...
There were 3 packages to select from,& I chose the one which I found quite interesting,
as the places to visit were someplace that I didn't go to before...
the places we visited during the tour were,some look-out-points,the waterfall,the hot springs(which actually was just some small public bathing areas with hot springs pool for you to bath or soak your legs,or any other parts of your body),
then finally,the KL tower(finally got the chance to go up there;p)
The tour was fun,& I've yet again get to know some new friends,
& was about to fall for a girl among them
(well,actually till I'd still love to meet her again & get to know her better;p)
Then one week was passed & thus began my 1st classes in TARc over here...
the lectures & tutorials are abit different than Penang ones,
but all I could say that such differences are actually good ones...
& for the co-curiculum part,I joined the Kung Fu Recreation Club..
& upon attending their 1st training,I could already tell that,indeed,the standards here are much more better than penang's...
& I'm truly looking forward to how much I'm able to learn over here..hehe;p
& of course,the girls over here are pretty as well...
not only within the club,in fact,the whole college are filled with hot chicks everywhere;p
Well,enough about the hot chicks,
I'm here to study anyway...
hehe...
But of course,I won't be wasting away my youth once again in here...
I'll definitely working hard be a better man in & hope that I can finally get what I truly want in this 2nd life over here...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Last moments
How ironic...
though I've created this post since 10th of May,
(according to the record that is,otherwise I wouldn't be able to recall when anyway)
But I didn't even write a single word on this post...
This post was supposed to be finished & posted up on the blog before I leave Penang...
thus the title "Last Moments"...
I intended to write down my feelings & memories during the last remaining times I was still in Penang before I move down to KL...
But I never finish it in time...
Here I am,inside KL TARc main campus' library,which is also a almost a week after I left Penang,
only I started to finish my 'unfinished post' over here....
Before I moved down here,all I could recall is that I was busying my library's matters...
Oh well,I shouldn't be using the word 'my library',
I'm no longer the president anymore,
the library wasn't mine from the 1st place anyway...
I felt that I was running away from my responsibilities...leaving a huge mess to the people the was always counting on me...(or were they?..)
A friend of mine told me otherwise...he told I shouldn't think like this...
shouldn't think so negatively towards everything that I've been through....
I will try my best not have such thinking anymore...
but I wonder how far will I be able to endure?
At the end of the day..it's all about how I'd really think about myself...
Now that I'm already at KL...
there's nothing more I could do about whatever I've left in Penang already...
including my very own past that happened there...
Redemption?Salvation?Forgiveness?
Are these what I'm always dying to seek for?
Can I really "Let Go"....?
though I've created this post since 10th of May,
(according to the record that is,otherwise I wouldn't be able to recall when anyway)
But I didn't even write a single word on this post...
This post was supposed to be finished & posted up on the blog before I leave Penang...
thus the title "Last Moments"...
I intended to write down my feelings & memories during the last remaining times I was still in Penang before I move down to KL...
But I never finish it in time...
Here I am,inside KL TARc main campus' library,which is also a almost a week after I left Penang,
only I started to finish my 'unfinished post' over here....
Before I moved down here,all I could recall is that I was busying my library's matters...
Oh well,I shouldn't be using the word 'my library',
I'm no longer the president anymore,
the library wasn't mine from the 1st place anyway...
I felt that I was running away from my responsibilities...leaving a huge mess to the people the was always counting on me...(or were they?..)
A friend of mine told me otherwise...he told I shouldn't think like this...
shouldn't think so negatively towards everything that I've been through....
I will try my best not have such thinking anymore...
but I wonder how far will I be able to endure?
At the end of the day..it's all about how I'd really think about myself...
Now that I'm already at KL...
there's nothing more I could do about whatever I've left in Penang already...
including my very own past that happened there...
Redemption?Salvation?Forgiveness?
Are these what I'm always dying to seek for?
Can I really "Let Go"....?
Monday, March 23, 2009
People
Just had a quick scan through some of my friends' blogs & realized that...
indeed,different people thinks differently,reacts differently...
Some of them are pretty ambitious...
some of them,lack self-confidence(though none of them would even considered on par with my standards..hehe)...
Some,just love to write non-sense..(who doesn't,anyway?)
...they are all very unique & I'm too lazy to describe them one by one...
Indeed,I guess nobody would think exactly the very same way how I always thought....
If I ever found one,either that's my own clone,
or God has made yet another mistake by creating one more such person into this world...
...I'm not even sure what the hell am I talking about...
Till next time then...
indeed,different people thinks differently,reacts differently...
Some of them are pretty ambitious...
some of them,lack self-confidence(though none of them would even considered on par with my standards..hehe)...
Some,just love to write non-sense..(who doesn't,anyway?)
...they are all very unique & I'm too lazy to describe them one by one...
Indeed,I guess nobody would think exactly the very same way how I always thought....
If I ever found one,either that's my own clone,
or God has made yet another mistake by creating one more such person into this world...
...I'm not even sure what the hell am I talking about...
Till next time then...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
More Silly Q&A Sessions...
1. Crazy stuff u did before.
Define 'crazy'...tell you the truth,to continue living is kinda crazy enough for me...
2. What is your most favourite thing to do ?
To be able to learn & expose to martial arts of any styles...wait..I don't believe in styles anymore;p
3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you go back to the past ?
I'd like to try that...well,not really gonna try to change my own past...but perhaps a little "time-travel visit''?hehe...
4. How old are you?
18 years old & 10 months & 18days(if not mistaken..)
5. Is there someone in your heart right now ?
Yeah..But i guess I'll have to put her aside for now...
6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
Ya,I do...I'm just to stupid to realized that sooner....
7. What are you afraid to lose
I'd have to say...my confidence...
8. What do you feel like doing right now ?
Go to Japan & visit the chicks...er..i mean...game exhibitions held in there
(I still would love to visit the chicks as well though;p)
9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
I already did...& I'll surely do it again...until her answer's 'YES'..
10. Do you think you are special?
It's the only reason that kept me living all along..
11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?
disrespectful towards Me...er..Men(as in general) ,treat me as some toy ,not be able to emotionally supportive...
13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
Ya,I'd love to kill all those bastards...in video games;p
14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
Of course is happy...that's the purpose of living!!
15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
I'd love to get rid of the laziness traits inside my gene;p
16. What is the most prized possession that you wish you can bring to Heaven?
So they've been lying to me about :'You couldn't bring anything with you once you're dead'...
Damn it...this question is the proof that they were telling me a LIE!!
17. Had you ever have two men/women at the same time??
DEfinitely not two men at the same time...wait,exactly what do you mean by this question?!
18. What is your plan when you become an old man or old woman?
Play videogames with my grandchildrens;p
19. Do you notice that question 12th has gone?
I did,when I was reading my friend's post...so what?
20. And you scrolled up and have a look, and you smiled sillently over there? don't tell me you are not.
What'd I smile for?
Taggged by: Yunnda
Define 'crazy'...tell you the truth,to continue living is kinda crazy enough for me...
2. What is your most favourite thing to do ?
To be able to learn & expose to martial arts of any styles...wait..I don't believe in styles anymore;p
3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you go back to the past ?
I'd like to try that...well,not really gonna try to change my own past...but perhaps a little "time-travel visit''?hehe...
4. How old are you?
18 years old & 10 months & 18days(if not mistaken..)
5. Is there someone in your heart right now ?
Yeah..But i guess I'll have to put her aside for now...
6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
Ya,I do...I'm just to stupid to realized that sooner....
7. What are you afraid to lose
I'd have to say...my confidence...
8. What do you feel like doing right now ?
Go to Japan & visit the chicks...er..i mean...game exhibitions held in there
(I still would love to visit the chicks as well though;p)
9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
I already did...& I'll surely do it again...until her answer's 'YES'..
10. Do you think you are special?
It's the only reason that kept me living all along..
11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?
disrespectful towards Me...er..Men(as in general) ,treat me as some toy ,not be able to emotionally supportive...
13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
Ya,I'd love to kill all those bastards...in video games;p
14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
Of course is happy...that's the purpose of living!!
15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
I'd love to get rid of the laziness traits inside my gene;p
16. What is the most prized possession that you wish you can bring to Heaven?
So they've been lying to me about :'You couldn't bring anything with you once you're dead'...
Damn it...this question is the proof that they were telling me a LIE!!
17. Had you ever have two men/women at the same time??
DEfinitely not two men at the same time...wait,exactly what do you mean by this question?!
18. What is your plan when you become an old man or old woman?
Play videogames with my grandchildrens;p
19. Do you notice that question 12th has gone?
I did,when I was reading my friend's post...so what?
20. And you scrolled up and have a look, and you smiled sillently over there? don't tell me you are not.
What'd I smile for?
Taggged by: Yunnda
Time to walk the walk!
After what've happened last week...
well...it's history by now...& tomorrow is still a big mystery to me...
So i guess it's time for me to walk the walk...
Just what kind of walk am I talking about?
See...the master plan's like this...
by 24 hours later counting from now,I should be sitting in a bus...
heading to the Capital...
& why am I...all of the sudden..will be heading to the Capital?
Well,let's just say that I'm off there to settle some 'business'...
to clear off any of the doubts that I had in mind for months...
& to start the 1st step upon my 'dream' that I've been planning all these while...
Brilliant,isn't it?muaHwahahaha.....
=_=
ok...quit the nonsense...back to the main point,shall we?
Well...until I really get to the 'main point',then only I can describe the situation in details...
so till next time...
Ciao...(actually,up until now,I still don't know what language is that..just thought that it'd be cool to add it in the end of my writing..)
well...it's history by now...& tomorrow is still a big mystery to me...
So i guess it's time for me to walk the walk...
Just what kind of walk am I talking about?
See...the master plan's like this...
by 24 hours later counting from now,I should be sitting in a bus...
heading to the Capital...
& why am I...all of the sudden..will be heading to the Capital?
Well,let's just say that I'm off there to settle some 'business'...
to clear off any of the doubts that I had in mind for months...
& to start the 1st step upon my 'dream' that I've been planning all these while...
Brilliant,isn't it?muaHwahahaha.....
=_=
ok...quit the nonsense...back to the main point,shall we?
Well...until I really get to the 'main point',then only I can describe the situation in details...
so till next time...
Ciao...(actually,up until now,I still don't know what language is that..just thought that it'd be cool to add it in the end of my writing..)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Mixed feelings
Right now....at this very moment...I've a very mixed feelings...
I'm a bit sad...a bit happy...a bit regret...a bit helpless...& also a bit relief...
all of them...at the same time...
Why is it that I'm sad?
Because I've to bear with the 'truth'...
Why is it that I'm happy?
Because I'm facing it now instead of later on...
Why is it that I'm regret?
Because I...
On 2nd thought,I don't think there's anything I should felt regret for in this matter...
Why is it that I'm helpless?
Because there's nothing I can do to change the situation for now...
Why is it that I'm relief then?
Because I'm glad it's finally over...
so that I can finally be able to move on,without any 'unfinished business' left behind here...
So be it...though it may be a bit cruel & hard to accept...but at least I've tried my very best...
Now with this matter finally comes to an end...I've to solve the next problem before I leave...
Life's indeed full of challenges & surprises...
I'm a bit sad...a bit happy...a bit regret...a bit helpless...& also a bit relief...
all of them...at the same time...
Why is it that I'm sad?
Because I've to bear with the 'truth'...
Why is it that I'm happy?
Because I'm facing it now instead of later on...
Why is it that I'm regret?
Because I...
On 2nd thought,I don't think there's anything I should felt regret for in this matter...
Why is it that I'm helpless?
Because there's nothing I can do to change the situation for now...
Why is it that I'm relief then?
Because I'm glad it's finally over...
so that I can finally be able to move on,without any 'unfinished business' left behind here...
So be it...though it may be a bit cruel & hard to accept...but at least I've tried my very best...
Now with this matter finally comes to an end...I've to solve the next problem before I leave...
Life's indeed full of challenges & surprises...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I really need to move on!!
I told myself sometimes ago...
"I need some more time...I think I need to restart everything...I don't care much about anything else,I just wanna quit from any of this mess right now,& give myself a little time out until I start walking again...from the very starting point again...."
when I was about to make a decision which I decided to hide it from my family & some of my friends....
cause I wasn't brave enough to let everyone learn about my decision that time...
That decision was indeed...a big one I'd say...
Needless to say it any clearer....a decision is made long time ago...
I can't turn back anymore...
I'm tired of listening to others & not being honest to myself...
At least this time,I'm making my own decision....
A decision is made...& another one is about to made soon as well,
in order for me to move on..in the way that I wish it to be...
towards the future that I always wanted from the very beginning...
The time has come...I need to tell the truth sooner or later....
"I need some more time...I think I need to restart everything...I don't care much about anything else,I just wanna quit from any of this mess right now,& give myself a little time out until I start walking again...from the very starting point again...."
when I was about to make a decision which I decided to hide it from my family & some of my friends....
cause I wasn't brave enough to let everyone learn about my decision that time...
That decision was indeed...a big one I'd say...
Needless to say it any clearer....a decision is made long time ago...
I can't turn back anymore...
I'm tired of listening to others & not being honest to myself...
At least this time,I'm making my own decision....
A decision is made...& another one is about to made soon as well,
in order for me to move on..in the way that I wish it to be...
towards the future that I always wanted from the very beginning...
The time has come...I need to tell the truth sooner or later....
Monday, February 2, 2009
I'm a jerk....
Ya..I'm really a big jerk...the worst of the kind...in every damn aspects...
What've I done?
Even if I don't wanna take up the responsible because I think that I don't deserve it...
there are no reasons whatsoever for me to let it ended up in such a horrible way like this...
What do I have to lose ?
Even if I have the right to say no...I should have done it in a 'gentlemen way'...
instead of being such a big damn jerk...
I always told myself that I'd rather hurt myself than hurting those whom I loved...
But I've done otherwise...
Another unforgivable mistake that will make me regret for the rest of my life...
but I suppose this is just the beginning...the worst is yet to come...
What've I done?
Even if I don't wanna take up the responsible because I think that I don't deserve it...
there are no reasons whatsoever for me to let it ended up in such a horrible way like this...
What do I have to lose ?
Even if I have the right to say no...I should have done it in a 'gentlemen way'...
instead of being such a big damn jerk...
I always told myself that I'd rather hurt myself than hurting those whom I loved...
But I've done otherwise...
Another unforgivable mistake that will make me regret for the rest of my life...
but I suppose this is just the beginning...the worst is yet to come...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Happy 'Moo moo' Year
Yeah..welcome to the year of moo moo....
1st post of year 2009...yeah....
well, at least this is the 1st post about the things about this year...
though I've just finished writing the previous post that I wasn't ab;e to finish last year before I start writing this post....
Anyway,who cares?
This whole blog over here,I don't think there'll be anyone even bother to visit & have the patience to read any of the posts I've written or about to write...except the future me....
or perhaps there'd be...but then again,who cares ?
I don't really give a damn shit about it anymore....
Like what I've written in just the previous post...
that I've been wasting most of my life last year
(time is life, don't ever forget about this very fact of the universe)
I'm starting to feel that the very same scenario will repeating again in 2009....
Let's hope I'm wrong about this one...
Otherwise,the next post that you are about to read,it'll probably be my will....
Alright alright....let's just be a little bit more positive minded starting from now, kay?
A new year, new beginning & bla bla bla.....
Now my room are still pretty messy ,though it was slightly better than before last week,
when my dad started to repainting the whole house...
I told myself,hey I was busying with the preparation of the stage play,I don't have time to clean up my room....
Here again,the bad habit of dragging things is still with me in this moo moo year...
Wow...as if Anyone'd b surprised to hear that.....
...wait...what did I wirte just now?
erm...'as if anyone will be surprised hearing about that fact that the bad habit of...'
NONONO no no no no...not this damn part...the one before this....
...okay,u mean the part about 'was busying about the preparation of a stage play.....'?
That's right!!That's it!!What exactly was the 'stage play' that I've wrote just now?
Oh...the stage play.....
ya...for the very 1st time of my life,I finally get the chance to get involved in a stage play....
Well,I didn't get any acting role in it,but rather as a supporting behind the stage technical role,the P.A. control guy...yeah....
& also slightly involved in the choreography of a small staff fighting scene of the play...
I'm more exciting about the later role than the 1st one to be honest...
as I'm always dream of getting myself involved in showing off those fancy martial arts moves or fight on the stage or for the very least,get the chance be the choreographer of the fighting scene...
Well,well,the fight scene that I've choreographed for them was quite ok...at least to me....
but the way they performed it during the reharsal...was a very different thing than what I've in my mind.....
It was due to the lacking time of practicing....which I can't complaint much about it...
Anyway...let's hope tomorrow they'll be able to do it well (I wouldn't expecting so much,at least do it in a not so awful way is more than enough...)...
We'll see then....
1st post of year 2009...yeah....
well, at least this is the 1st post about the things about this year...
though I've just finished writing the previous post that I wasn't ab;e to finish last year before I start writing this post....
Anyway,who cares?
This whole blog over here,I don't think there'll be anyone even bother to visit & have the patience to read any of the posts I've written or about to write...except the future me....
or perhaps there'd be...but then again,who cares ?
I don't really give a damn shit about it anymore....
Like what I've written in just the previous post...
that I've been wasting most of my life last year
(time is life, don't ever forget about this very fact of the universe)
I'm starting to feel that the very same scenario will repeating again in 2009....
Let's hope I'm wrong about this one...
Otherwise,the next post that you are about to read,it'll probably be my will....
Alright alright....let's just be a little bit more positive minded starting from now, kay?
A new year, new beginning & bla bla bla.....
Now my room are still pretty messy ,though it was slightly better than before last week,
when my dad started to repainting the whole house...
I told myself,hey I was busying with the preparation of the stage play,I don't have time to clean up my room....
Here again,the bad habit of dragging things is still with me in this moo moo year...
Wow...as if Anyone'd b surprised to hear that.....
...wait...what did I wirte just now?
erm...'as if anyone will be surprised hearing about that fact that the bad habit of...'
NONONO no no no no...not this damn part...the one before this....
...okay,u mean the part about 'was busying about the preparation of a stage play.....'?
That's right!!That's it!!What exactly was the 'stage play' that I've wrote just now?
Oh...the stage play.....
ya...for the very 1st time of my life,I finally get the chance to get involved in a stage play....
Well,I didn't get any acting role in it,but rather as a supporting behind the stage technical role,the P.A. control guy...yeah....
& also slightly involved in the choreography of a small staff fighting scene of the play...
I'm more exciting about the later role than the 1st one to be honest...
as I'm always dream of getting myself involved in showing off those fancy martial arts moves or fight on the stage or for the very least,get the chance be the choreographer of the fighting scene...
Well,well,the fight scene that I've choreographed for them was quite ok...at least to me....
but the way they performed it during the reharsal...was a very different thing than what I've in my mind.....
It was due to the lacking time of practicing....which I can't complaint much about it...
Anyway...let's hope tomorrow they'll be able to do it well (I wouldn't expecting so much,at least do it in a not so awful way is more than enough...)...
We'll see then....
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